It was a year ago today that you left us. I can still hear Jeannie's voice in my head, telling me you were gone. I remember howling like a wounded animal, and collapsing into my husband's arms. He comforted me as best he could, but nothing could take away the devastating pain I felt. Returning to LI to say goodbye to you was the hardest thing I have ever done. Now it's been a whole year, and I have cried rivers of tears.
You must have seen my pain, because you came to me one night. It was most definitely not a dream...it was YOU, and as real and alive as ever. We had a brief conversation, and you gave me a great, big bear hug. Then, in a flash, you were gone.
That brief encounter dried my tears. I know you are happy and at peace. I still miss you beyond what words can express, but now I can take comfort in our happy memories. I can look at your pictures and smile, and I still talk to you every day.
I love you, James Gerard.
One year and two weeks after we lost you, James, I was in New York City with my daughter and my sisters. I took a picture of Times Square, posted it, and said I was missing you, James.
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